If you ain't then you should....

...be playing Uno online at 360 Live. This is by far the best game I've played in a minute. It takes shit talking to epic levels. Thank you Carbonated Games for coming up with this simple yet enjoyable concept to the wild world of gaming. It's awesome. I let my friend play this game Saturday night and don't cha know she didn't do anything else for a good minute or so, I just fainted on the sofa waiting on my turn. But she did wrack up some achievements for me, right quick so she gets kudos for that. Any way I'm just sayin'..57 DAYS TILL BY MAN GETS HOME!!!!

Free Day!!!

My boss is out of town and I haven't done a goddamned thing this week at the office. I'm also on my seven weeks countdown till I'm up outta GA so I'm really not doing anything up at my JOB. I'm on some 1.5 hour lunch mode, leaving a half hour early and IF I show up at a meeting, I have nonthing to say to these people because I'm at my wits end. So TGIF, cuz monday I had saki for lunch , Tuesday was a margarita, Wednesday I was at the gym for 3 hours thursday 2.5 and tuesday will be an hour because i'm bouncing at 4P. If anyone needs anything, please leave at voicemail, that I may or may not check monday in a timely fashion. Peace out and enjoy the weather outside! It's hot. Whiskey. Foxtrot. Tango.

I'll be your huckleberry

People fucking kill me when they introduce me to folks as funny. Cuz you know the next thing coming is, that arm folding, do something funny stare. I suppose that's when I' suppoed to pull out my big guns of comedy, right?! From here on out, I'm introducing folks by their personalities and then we'll see who's funny. First victim, my slutty male whore friend , ED!

LATE BREAKING NEWS

http://www.accessatlanta.com/news/content/shared-gen/ap/Recordings/People_Lance_Bass.html Shit like this has me about ready to turn off my internet service. Why oh why has the press just announced that Lance is gay? Hell we knew that when we first saw his sugary ass in N Sync. I think half of those dudes are gay as hell. Who does he think he fooled? I liked their music and I still do ( shut up!) But seriously, this guy set my GAYdar off to the point he might have just been invisible in the videos. The minute level of testeosterone that's in his blood system was like not enough for me to give him a first glance. It's kinda like Ellen coming out of the closet? Who didn't know she was a dyke? She's way more masculine than Lance? Is this really late breaking? Or is the press just late? I'll tellyou who shocked the shit out of me, Portia DeRossi. Now that was late breakin!

Takin Up My Old Hobbies

Has anyone out there ever been stalked? I mean like truly stalked, a la lifetime channel? Well I have. That shit is for the damned birds, cuz folks are crazier than the Pee Wee Herman show. Insane. Back in the day, when I first moved to the ATL, I was attracting the nuttiest bunch of dudes ever. They were normal to upscale guys too, but it was something about me that was making them go batty to the point they had me taking a different route home on a daily basis. Crazy thing about it, it's kinda how I met one of my best friends T.O. and her ex-hubby. Well, if anyone knows me, they know my head is either in a book or on a handheld gaming system. No deviation ever. So when I ran into this producer staying at a hotel down the street from me, there was no chance of avoidance because I didn't see his ass coming. He's infatuated upon the first thing that came out my mouth and though it wa nothing that I did (honestly) he starts trying to "run into" me everyday at the same time. So at first it was cute, but then one night I was walking the dog at like 11:30P and he was "hangin' out" in front of my loft. I noticed, kept going and gratefully ran into BIG ASS WESLEY and MAX, his boxer. They escorted me home that night and for maybe a week and some change til el loco took off for good. Well turns out he's a somewhat famous guy having produced a couple big hits and I had a car bashing incident and his ass fell so deeply in love he decided i was to be his armpiece all over the ATL. Well, bad part about that is all the industry hoes wiling to ride or die to be in my spot. So I let them. No fight there, but this dude thinks he's at Burger King, and begins poppin' up at all times of nights, bring celeb company like i'm impressed by that shit ( No, nigga, you can't have it your way). So a few times I ignored him even though I knew he could hear me chillin in the loft. I was like I have no intention of dealing with his shit. THe stalking eventually had to stop once he went on tour, but he sent a million flowers and gifts to annoy me in his absence. Just sharing people Many more stories, but i'm at work. You gets no more. Peace out!

Rent Anywhere but Enterprise and State farm is not a Good neighbor

I'm not in the best mood, and let's face it, I haven't had sex in 5 months (since my honeymoon). So believe me when I say I don't have tolerance for too much bullshit, it's for your own benefit. You could catch it. So, Thursday some jackass runs me off the road and into a median. Miraculously for him and me, god gave him the good sense to run, because I was really about to rip his skin off X-Men style. Me and Veronica were stranded yet again to fend for ourselves in homeless territory, and right then the terror alert in the US should have went up two notches, cuz I was heated. Once again I am the only female in the entire universe to get into accidents all by herself. So what do I do first, but call Wendy Lueng , my state farm agent. ( a bit of history first) Wendy is an Asian chick that has a staff of Asian chicks that speak as much English as the Asian chicks in the nail shop, not much. Which is fine when you never have to speak to them, but annoying as hell when you're sitting in 99 degree shade and your car is leaking oil. So I ask her answer-the-phone girl to speak with Wendy. "She's on the phone, call back." I think a blood vessel sprang loose in my brain somewhere. "Can you tell her its (insert my government name here) and I've been in an accident?" Then in her quasi English, she's like," please hold." HUH? Bitch please, not only did you just tell me to hold during a car accident, you are using up my muthafucking daytime minutes. This shit does not happen to the good white folk in those dayum commercials, their agent comes out to their ass when their stranded on a mountain in Jersusalem in the winter with champagne and crumpets to change their fucking tires, and mine is tellin' my ass to hold...note to self, "cancel this shit upon resolution of claim". So any hoo I eventually have to just hang up and deal with the cops. He was cool, especially since the rest of the cops downtown were radioing his ass for help at a shoot out. I was a bit concerned that he just didn't leave, I mean if I called for back up and it was my life and an accident report I'd be smidge on the mad side if you finished writing a report. I'm just saying. So anyhoo, I called my mom, cuz I think I got a concussion somewhere in the middle of all of this, and was like can you come get me ( she was in town and I'm less than three blocks from the loft). She's like "no, I'm talking to my man." click. I should have just broke down there, but I was still trying to make class, ya'll. So Whipped out my trusty tire changing gloves, and commenced to change my tire in rush hour traffic. Fast forward to ENTERPRISE on Courtland Street, downtown Atlanta (in case you need to know exactly which location to avoid). I get picked up and made it to the place in a timely fashion at about 6:30P. Being that I've rented from this same location at least eight times in the last two years you think this would have gone smoothly. HELL NO. First and foremost, there is nothing at Enterprise to compensate you for a Audi TT. Nothing. So i start filling out their information sheet. It asks for your place of work and two references. HUH? I put down two and she's like that spouse thing ain't happening. So I put down another number. She starts calling these people at 6:30, including my job. NO ONE IS AT THE OFFICE AFTER 5:30, HO? What are you doing? Please don't try to rent from these dumbasses and keep your business on the low, because she commences to call my friends to say " (Blank)put you down as a reference." My jaw dropped to the fucking floor. I saw three white people come in there and just sign some shit and walk off with keys. No one went through what I went through. You'd think because they plopped down a card that could be maxed out they would have to undergo the same thing. I on the other hand hand them over my bank account card and have to endure a nightmare. Well, never again, but it ain't over. They were like, you can have a Grand AM or a Nissan Sentra. Both of these cars handle like some amusement park shit. Whatever, it's just to get to school, cuz I can't be caught dead in one of these things anywhere else. You can't valet a sentra! Then, since it took all of 45 minutes to get this rolling piece of shit, it was filthy! It smelled like ass and there was sticky shit all over the place, it was dusty as hell AND it had the nerves to be on E. So i called this morning and told them this shit was gross I need a new car first thing in the morning. So driving in I likes to died three time trying to merge this big ass go cart, it drove like it was powered by six double A batteries. Well I'm through ranting. My places to boycott in the A are as follows: State Farm - specifically Wendy Lueng's locale Enterprise - Courtland Avenue location NTB - North Druid Hills (seriously, the service there is hazardous to your car, and the manager and district manager are idiots.) ANY Parking Garage ran by Gardner Property Management ( Joe Gardner is a crook and a pirate) Ok, gone to finifh brooding.

My rant for tuhday is regarding eldercare and my shiftless ass friends. I got so much beef for everything i do and don't do. Not that I care if people think me getting zero sleep and no personal time counts for anything, but occasionally my friends should sit back , examine their personal time ratio to mine, and go damn, " She must really like me to take that five minutes to check on me." Cuz I don't EVER get alone time, and no one ever checks on my sanity. I take care of my dad with alzheimers, so it's a given he doesn't remember or appreciate the stuff I do for him. Thankless job? Yes. Trade it in for millions? No. I work a full day, go to school from 6-9, get home to him, only to cook, clean and get scowled at. Then my friends (who take care of themselves and are all single with no kids) want me to go out and club in lieu of studying the few hours I can stay cognizantly awake. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a teenager, and i've never been one to be peer pressured into anything, but it takes notches off my happy factor when folks try to bully you to go out. I think they feel exempt from my hammer, but it only take one example and folks will STFU. Well gotta bounce, that's all I"m writing because for all the whining about me destroying my old blog, noe one has bothered to comment yet. Not saying I need a pat on the back, but it'd be nice to know I'm not just blogging to the great wide empty intanet. My mom is in town and using my laptop to go car shopping, so I've been pron free for almost four days. My hoo hah is twitching.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It's the most wonderful time of the year, good people. What makes it so special you ask? Well I'll tell you. Once again the governement has gotten a year older as the citizens take three steps back. It's independence day! "The fourth" for black folk. A time of the year when C4 become legal at gas stations in the hood and babies that can barely hold a bottle get to wave sparklers. Its a time when good people barbecue anything that was former on four legs and old soldiers put on uniforms they can barely fit anymore. The fourth was a time , and still is a time to just let your hitler like tendancies flow. I can remember as a child the excitement that came along with laying on the hood of my parent's car (triflin), watching the men detonate (yes detonate) fireworks large enough to see a few blocks away (not legal in any state), my brother and cousins aiming roman candles at each other (murderous tendancies) and catching fireflies and putting them in a jar (animal cruelty). We ate barbecue from sun up til sun down and a few days after, while playing at the beach until the sun went down and then sleeping like bears in hibernation(a la bacchus style). As a child it's carefree; as an adult, it's rather meaningless to most, just a day off and out of the office. You'd think (but Christmas will tel you otherwise), that we freedom indulging americans would remember the spirit in which we fire up the grills. Yet sadly enough, the most symbolic day of our calendar year is just another commericial holiday fo us to blow off to apathy. Well, I suppose i'm going to get all this back in spades since eventually I'll be someone's parent....yet I intend to let my pet monsters indulge to the fullest, in the spirit of the day or not!