So let’s begin then.

What da fuck happened to Vivica Fox?

I have never been a big fan of hers, but let me tell you, this is not cool. If you have plans on donating your body to science, wait till you are dead. No one wants to look at shit like this. That kid born with three arms, can’t help his situation, but damn it Vivica, you could have. What is wrong? Was it anything I could have helped with? Somehow when things go this far awry, I feel like maybe you can just come sit on my couch and we can talk about it over tea. I could even make you a long island or something, anything but plastic surgery. Call me boo, we’ll talk about it, it’s ok. ________________________________________________________

Does Laura really look like Whitney? http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/06/05/mixed.up.victims.ap/index.html My next issue for the day is with this whole case of mistaken identity with two blondes. A total tragedy to be sure, but what the fuck, for real. How did her family, boyfriend and all get her mixed up AFTER seeing her? Umm note to my Family, Friends, please don’t act out in public like this. If you should happen to forget what my toes and fingers look like, play it off. This is embarrassing. They OUGHT to be ashamed of themselves. So this means they’ve been estranged for quite sometime now, Clearly. Have there been no Christmas cards, Easter basket, nothing for the last say five years or so. Is this honestly saying what we think this is saying? Do all blondes REALLY look alike? To her Fam, did you all even call her on her birthday? And to her boyfriend, the biggest WTF ever? Dude, you had to have hit it on a regular, you don’t know what her toes look like? How about flipping her doggystyle stance? Still can’t recognize her, obviously you all were heading for the end anyway. I WISH MY HUSBAND WOULD, act like he can’t id me without seeing my face! I’d get out my goddamned grave to slap him on the back of his head, cuz to be honest no body has toes quite like mine. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, I’m just sayin’.

_________________________________________________________ Last thing, but not least by far:

I’d so beat this man’s ass: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/05/24/military.funerals.ap/index.html Recently the government had to jump in to prevent protesting at military funerals. I’d have to imagine it was for the protection of the protesters because ain’t no way somebody is gonna try to come to a Hairston funeral and try some silly shit like this. Seriously. We’d put the casket on the floor and commence to beating some ass, then straighten up and go about our business. I’d be the first in the fray, black hat and all! Honestly, I’m all for your first amendments rights when they don’t interfere with mine. Besides, my husband’s plans are to introduce my little one to fire arms the minute they can hold them up. He takes that right so serious, I’d hate for him to introduce a protester to it with the help of my British clippin’ outlaw midgets. It’d be so tragic. But seriously it took an act of congress to stop this foolery. You’d think people had more respect for others than to just roll up in the middle of your mourning to start this hot garbage. What if we all came to his funeral to tell his family what an ass he was in this life. I mean every religion has it fair share of fuck ups, but Christians are using up all their points pretty fast here. Muslims only get mad when you make cartons about their savior, what’s ya excuse out there? You can’t rein this in? I’ mean I don’t see how gay people are bothering you personally, enough to the point where you have to go bother good folk at funerals. What happened? You can tell me, did a big bad gay dude, dudette hit on you and you thought twice about hitting back, and your God made you feel guilty about it? Or how about some Gay person MADE you hang out with them. I mean they hog-tied you up and just made you kick it with them at Chili’s or some shit? Explain this phenomenon? Why can’t you all just sit the fuck back and let people be? NOBODY in the WORLD does this except for Christians. I mean unprovoked that is, don’t sleep on the Taliban, but don’t piss ‘em off either, you asking for a brawl and nobody , but nobody has tactics like them. I’m telling you, ya’ll you picked the right families to do this with, because the Joneses were calm and stepped around you, and though hey were hot they proabaly just shook their heads and prayed a little louder. Try it with the William’s family, or the Browns, they’d still be cleaning up the gore. It’s be like fighting fifty Busta Rhymes, Woo Ha! They wouldn’t be able to show the pics on CNN it’d be that bad. But enough of that. Peace out people, I’m back in rare form. I won’t delete this blog, I promise.